Getting Your Child to Go to Bed

By: Dr. Noel Swanson.

It is often difficult to get your child to go to bed for two reasons. One, the child is in no mood to give up the activity and go to the quiet lonely bedroom and be deprived of the fun. Secondly, by the end of the day you are so tired that you long for some quiet moments all to yourself. Both of you are justified and that is where the clash of interest begins. The result is your child throws up a tantrum or comes up with some demand or the other that can postpone bedtime.

One out of three children just refuses to go to bed before their parents!

So, if you are in that situation, here are some pointers that might help:

To begin with, you have to assess how much sleep your child needs. Though children under 12 usually need about 10 to 12 hours sleep, there are exceptions that need much less sleep. Plus, the need for sleep keeps decreasing as they grow. Younger kids need more than older ones. Now, if your child can function well enough on, say, 6 or 8 hours sleep, you cannot force him/her to sleep more than that. Remember, you can’t force sleep on yourself, then why expect the child to fall asleep when you want it happen?

After you have established a reasonable bedtime, you should stick to it. Kids take advantage of any weakness. They will not miss a chance to manipulate you into giving them an extra hour. They have a fertile imagination and will concoct any and every tactic to wrangle that from you. They will ask for a drink or a question, or they will say they are scared or need to pee, anything! Some of them are so good at it that they might make you feel sorry for them so that you allow them to stay up later or sleep in your bed. Don't give in.

Clear about the rules? Okay, the third step is to put this into practice. Establish a bedtime routine. Again, the younger they are, the more important this is. Start well before the target bedtime and lead them through the steps: getting changed, doing teeth and bathroom, reading a story, lights out. Be willing to give them your full attention during this routine.

The last step of the routine is to put the lights out. You will face strong opposition to it. Be prepared for it, but remain firm and calm. You can allow minor concessions such as leaving the door open or a night-light on if they need that. To soothe the nerves of your child, you could also put on some soft music if that helps.

All this is fine, but if the child gets out of bed, or calls for your attention, then you need to judge the situation calmly. If the need is genuine, cater to it without giving them too much attention so that it doesn’t become a routine affair.

Children are inventive; they will invent excuses, problems. One way to tackle this is to set a timer and tell them that you will check on them in ten minutes, if they stay in bed. The trick is to begin with a small time and then gradually increase it. Make sure you live by your promise, but don’t overstay. Just come and tuck them in, caress them and leave.

If the child takes very long to sleep you may have to repeat this routine twice or thrice till he falls asleep. You can go on increasing the intervals till he is asleep. In the beginning it will involve a lot of work, but if you do this consistently then they will learn to stay in bed and it will become part of the daily routine.

Remember to be positive by praising your child for staying quietly in bed. Also, be very particular about keeping your promise by going to check exactly at the time fixed. This is where the timer comes in handy.

If they get up before your next check, do the following:

First, be firm and send him back to bed. Don't get flustered and don’t shout; just make it clear that you are serious. Then remind him that you will be up to tuck him in again, but after the ten minutes which will start now. Having done that, just ignore him until the time for your next check.

Always remember to reward your child for success in staying nicely in bed. You may want to use a star chart or something like that.

Article Source: http://appliedhealtharticles.com

Dr. Noel Swanson has written a highly entertaining and very informative book on managing child behavior problems - The GOOD CHILD Guide. Many pediatric nurses consider it a must read for all parents. Also get his parenting articles here.
Click here for other unique parenting articles.

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated